On Friday I had my first medical checkup in years. The receptionist was one of those chirrupping, smiling people that I used to think were normal. Now I see her with French eyes. Is she actually nice? No. Is she actually cheerful? No. Behind all that chirrupping is an angry, unpleasant person. I wonder if she might be happier if, as in France, she didn't have to pretend and could just react to each new patient as a fellow human who merits or does not merit her smile. On the other hand, foreigners usually feel the French go too far in that direction.
How do you know she was an angry, unpleasant person? And honestly, while I've gotten used to the "rudeness" that comes with dealing with any kind of French administration, I don't necessarily think that it's fair that they take their angriness and unpleasantness out on me.
Posted by: samantha | 29 April 2007 at 10:41
Sedulia, I know what you mean! American standards of service are laudable but sometimes that constant automatic formula pleasantness seems so superficial and irritating to non-American ears - isn't it ever annoying to Americans too? Sometimes a bit of honest snappiness can make the world feel real!
Posted by: Anna | 29 April 2007 at 19:25
Sam, I had to wait in the office for almost an hour and had plenty of time to watch her. She used her chirpy smiley voice while telling people in no uncertain terms that whatever they were doing (leaning on the counter, putting a magazine back in the wrong place, and a bunch of other minor offenses) was unacceptable to her. Then she used another, much angrier voice in the back of the office talking to her buddies.
I think in some parts of the U.S., people are actually raised to be pleasanter (like the upper midwest and the south), but in a lot of places the smiley thing is just fake for customers. I didn't notice it in the old days, but now I'd rather deal with someone's real personality than a fake smile. Maybe I've been in France too long.
Posted by: Sedulia | 29 April 2007 at 20:08
Back in 1978 when I was a retail associate with a department store, they started requiring that we say have a nice day. I think that was the beginning of the end.
I don't know though, there is just so much unpleasantness in the world, I'm not sure that I need any honest snappishness to make it feel real to me.
I am glad that you decided to keep blogging. You always make me think!!
Posted by: nancy | 30 April 2007 at 19:35
Nancy, I do agree with you really - with a world full of wars it is nicer to be positive than snappy, of course. But the point I was making was about your first observation - the 'have a nice day' on auto pilot: it's comes across so often as meaningless and therefore of little real value.
Posted by: Anna | 30 April 2007 at 20:53
I'd rather have false niceness over sincere rudeness any day.
Besides, how do you know she was really unhappy and mad? Some people are just nice to others because that is their basic personality?
Posted by: J.Doe | 01 May 2007 at 03:30
Joe, I used to agree with you, I remember that, so I guess I've changed from my years living in a country where people are only nice to you if they like you!
This woman was using her "nicey-nice" to be very bossy, unpleasant, controlling and nitpicky with everyone who walked in. "You'll be more comfortable using THAT pen" (snatching it away), "Why don't you sit over HERE" (firmly patting a different seat from the one an old man chose), "I'M sorry, you can't go in there" etc. What she was doing wasn't nice and she would have been too embarrassed to act that way if she hadn't been smiling and chirping the whole time.
Posted by: Sedulia | 01 May 2007 at 18:07
False nice-ness creep me out.
Posted by: Alex | 09 August 2007 at 05:45